Why #comfywomfy is the best hashtag I've seen all year

There is talk floating around this here interwebs of #comfywomfy. It's a hashtag created by the indomitable Mrs Woog after she was horrified by a recent callout by a 'journalist' asking online for unattractive photos of Samantha Armytage. Personally, I think Ms Armytage is one of the loveliest ladies on the box lately. But that doesn't matter. If she was a complete cow, it still wouldn't make it ok for a media commentator to publicly put a call out for 'sam armytage looking scruffy/too casual/not sexy/bad for asap please — OK to go back and send older pics'. I am not even joking. She did that. And it's not ok.

I have a wonderful job. There are parts of managing a women's activewear store that suck, but in essence, I really do have a wonderful job. (As a sidenote, if you know of any job that doesn't have parts that suck, lemme know, my resume is ready to go.)

I get the opportunity to talk to women of ALL ages, sizes and fitness levels, and I see their body confidence issues close-up. Really close-up. Behind that fitting room curtain, away from the neon technical fabrics and floral print tights, I talk to women about the parts of their body they are most comfortable with, and the parts that make them so, so sad.

I also meet lots of women who are kind-of a big deal. And they have hang-ups too.

A stunning Home and Away actress* was visiting Noosa for a friend's wedding during Summer, and fell in love with our gorgeous Noosa National Park. (Why wouldn't you?) She wanted to go for a run through the National Park but hadn't packed any workout gear, so popped into my store to pick up something. She was dressed beautifully in a maxidress and sandals and was completely makeup-free, with her quite-famous locks scraped back into a ponytail, and she looked like a regular woman, albeit a very pretty and petite one.

I recognised her immediately, but ignored who she was and focussed on what she wanted. This incredibly attractive size 6-8 woman was asking for running tights that would suck in her stomach and butt, conceal her muffin top, and be breathable because she sweats a lot behind her knees. All this she told me in a very hushed voice in the fitting room, and it was real. I could tell her a thousand times that my husband thinks she's gorgeous, and that women the world over would kill for her petite figure, but it was real. When she looked in the mirror, she only saw the parts of her body that she didn't like. 

I asked her name and introduced myself (it's a non-negotiable in my store, if I'm going to be pushing your bits and boobs into activewear, I need to introduce myself or buy you a drink first), listened and returned with a few styles. She tried them on, and ended up with the ones I was most reluctant to give her - the super-sucky-in ones that I love and wear because I am an overweight woman (according to my doctor. blah blah whatever). She bought three pairs of them. We chatted a lot, I mentioned that it was a thrill to meet her and that I was so happy that she was as personable in real life and I'd hoped, and she asked about good wine bars in the area. Clearly, she could see a kindred spirit in me. And as she was finishing and leaving my store, she actually said 'Thanks for not asking for a photo, I look horrendous today, I couldn't bear to see myself in the mags like this'. 

I was so sad for her. Here was a gorgeous woman on holidays, relaxed and planning her days of sunshine and wine, and she had to be concerned that sneaky naughty people might say 'Oh, look how she's let herself go'.

Just last week, I styled two very well-known healthy lifestyle advocates* who have a massive social media following. They were visiting the Sunshine Coast for a holiday and were picking up some activewear to wear at a massive Lorna Jane event to be held in Melbourne later in the month. They were itsy-bitsy tiny women with bouncy blonde locks, yet there was still talk of body parts and lines they'd like to hide. Fortunately, both had amazingly positive attitudes and were in no way unhappy and over-critical about their bodies, but I can imagine that it's taken a lot of hard work to get to that point, it certainly would for me.

And Mrs Woog. That arse-kicking blogger I mentioned earlier? You can read her here. She visited my store a few months ago, and was exactly how I'd imagined. Strong-willed, excitable and straight-talking. She also had a lovely shape. (Curvy is an excellent shape.)

Mrs Woog allowed me to bully her to try on tights (huffy-puffy pants in her lingo) that would stay up and stay firm during all her workouts (which she bitches about... which I like... because I struggle so much to find the enjoyment in exercise). I eventually had to tell her a straight-out lie to get her to try on a particular style, fibbing as I passed them to her that they were a larger size than they actually were. She flounced (the only word possible) out of the change room, showed us all (there were a bunch of very-famous-quite-awesome bloggers instore) her butt and announced that they would do as they sucked in some wobbles and smoothed out some bumps. 

My point is that women feel bad enough already about themselves and notice imperfections to the nth degree. Even (maybe especially) the successful, strong ones who are admired by other women. 

Yes, I have moles, big pores, ungroomed eyebrows and root regrowth. But it was a lovely afternoon spent with my husband and who gives a shit what I look like?

So why in the hell would we allow anyone to draw negative attention to how we look on work days, on holidays, on days off, on any day? Who are these people creating an actual career from this? And by boycotting and ignoring their tweets, posts and articles, can we make it stop?

We all have the right to choose how to present ourselves everyday. And we have the right to leave the house makeup-free in baggy pants and thongs if we so choose.

Blogging in a dressing gown in the middle of the day on a messy desk.

Real life. My imperfect life.

Are you ok with having to present your best self all day, every day, and being judged on it? I'm not.

Stand up for comfort, and share your #comfywomfy pics on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook. (Another great hashtag I've seen floating around is #myimperfectlife - ideal for those regular non-fancy moments we snap photos of.)

*Name-dropping is so passe. I emailed those mentioned and asked for permission before I used their names. Some didn't get back to me... and that's ok. It doesn't reflect on their opinions, I probably just filtered into their spam box. I can seem a little like a Nigerian prince in my emails at times.

Also, stay tuned for tomorrow's lovely giveaway. There will be flamingos, so you can get excited now.

If you enjoyed this, you may like to read Wine Tours, the KP and Trainee Mama way.